Subject: Eet's Hot! Very Hot!
Hi Gary. Hahahaha! That's the weather I'm talking about. :)
Wednesday night: Wingnut couldn't come today cos he had swim training the whole afternoon. :( FUCK! Tried to fuck around with the boxing bag on my own, but it wasn't the same [without the grommet there]. Finished school work in my room, then phoned Steph. I just had to.
"Hey, Steph, it's me."
"So I hear."
"Steph, I need to speak to you. What is the problem that we can't even talk to each other anymore?"
"You know what the problem is, Steve. It's you. You think you're God's gift."
"Not true, Steph. C'mon. We had something really special a little while ago."
"What is it, Steve? Wingnut got a plug up his ass, and now you want me?"
"Where the fuck did that come from? For fuck sake, is that what you think, huh?"
"If you scream, I'm going to put the phone down."
"Don't! Don't do that. Where did that comment come from?"
"If you hurt him, Steve," she said through obvious tears, "I'll make sure you get the same. You always have to have your own way. What do you want from him?"
"Oh, shit. Don't cry, Steph. Please."
"He's a little boy. What is it with you and him? Tell me."
"Because he's Cody."
I suddenly realized what I'd said, and what I thought was the real reason why I needed Wingnut so much. "C'mon, Steph. We've all seen it. Wingnut is Cody. He's exactly the same as Cody was. Why have you hung onto him? We're all looking for Cody right now, and Wingnut is him, Steph. I know you've seen that, too. Stop the tears, girl. Can we meet somewhere? Maybe have some coffee or a beer or something?"
Got a ride to a block away from her house, and she was waiting for me. She's still as fucking spunky as ever, Gary. Cody's girl. Her eyes were red, so I gathered she'd been crying ever since she'd put the phone down.
We took a walk down to the beach, and went into a small cafe where we ordered coffee. I had an espresso, and she chose a cappucino with all the froth on top. She was cradling her chin in one hand, and staring silently at the coffee cup. So I took her other hand in mine. My face was still looking pretty hectic, so I could understand why she didn't want to look at me.
"Hey. I'm not Steve. I'm Quasimodo, the lover in the tower." Well, that got a smile out of her at least. "That's better, babes. I'm glad I'm not the only one who has these [kind of] days."
"He used to tell me that we were going to have a house full of little Codys one day." And with that, her eyes brimmed with tears. "Every minute that I knew him was special. I've got a message in a bottle in my wardrobe. I found it floating in our pool on my birthday last year. 'I will be by your side forever, Steph, and I will love you forever. Your friend and lover, Cody.' I've had so many boyfriends. Cody was the first one that I fell in love with, and I finally found out what love was all about."
"Got anyone now?"
She replied by shaking her head.
"Look, Steph. I've been a huge prick, and I'd like to make it up to you. Just for us to be friends again. Just friends. If it goes further, it will be because we both want it to go there. But for the moment, I am so fucking desperate for some friends. Wingnut has been coming around this week, and he's been showing me how to use the boxing bag at home. Little prick's been enjoying beating me up as well." She found that comment amusing. Probably pictured the grommet hammering the fuck out of me. "I can see why Cody loved you. When you laugh, you get these little dimples in your cheeks like he used to. And your eyes light up."
"I'm not ready to go out with you, Steve. You could go back in a minute [to drugs] and the shit will start all over again. You don't even know what you're like when you're stoned or tripping."
Her words hit me like a bombshell. "Give me a chance, Steph. I've come this far. Please?"
She dissolved into tears once more. "Look at me! Does it look like I'm ready to be hurt all over again? Fuck you!"
"Just friends," I insisted. "That's all I'm asking for. No commitment. Just a friend."
"Take a look at your face, Steve. You look like you were stoned five minutes ago."
What could I say? I knew she was right. Round about then, I was so ready to fucking smack her. I could feel the anger building up inside me, but I did well to keep it under control. We never said another word to each other until I went [to the counter] and paid for the coffee. Then we walked back to her place, and she was the one who broke the deafening silence.
"Thanks for the coffee."
My eyes were pleading with her to give me a fucking chance. I leaned forward and kissed her. "Thanks for listening, Steph. Cheers."
Fucking hell, Gary. Was I that bad? I can't even remember. I can't even remember that night with Wingnut, or was it two nights ago? Fuck knows. What does he see now when he comes over [here]? Is that maybe why he's putting on the strong act? Cos he saw a weak pathetic loser back there [when Craig bashed me, and I was going through withdrawals]? I'm not even sure that I'm doing the right thing by letting him take charge of me with the boxing bag.
Thursday: Wingnut was back [here] today. I was worried that what happened the other night [when my hands went inside his shorts] might have caused a problem, but apparently it didn't. He'd genuinely had swim training at school on Wednesday.
He's seriously into the gym kit we've got here at home. Can't believe that people [like my family] have so much stuff in the one house. His school has a swim comp next week on Friday, and he's asked me to come to the school to watch. But it means that I've gotta get out of school early, or maybe take the day off. I'll see what happens.
Wingnut had me working my guts out [in the gym] again, and it was really cool. He hits the shit out of me at every opportunity, but I managed to get a few [punches] in as well. :) EVIL GRIN. I don't think he felt them too much, but he made fucking sure I felt his, though hahahahaha.
When we were done, or at least when he was done beating me up, I asked if he wanted to swim in the pool for a while.
"Can't stay too long, but I'll take a quick swim."
He was wearing his camouflage briefs again, and when they were wet, they crawled into his ass crack, and outlined his whole cock. Might as well have been naked, but I didn't even suggest it.
I put on a pair of black Speedos to join him in the pool. While we were swimming, I grabbed him in my arms, but he got away from me, then swam away laughing... and kept doing that each time I came anywhere near him. It was a game, and he wasn't freaking or anything, but I guessed I was rushing again - being impatient to get close to him.
We hadn't been in the water for very long when he exited the pool. I watched him from where I was, still treading water, as he toweled himself. He shook his hair, which has some dark brown streaks in it. HUH? So his hair wasn't pitch black like I'd thought it was all this time!
"You coming again tomorrow?"
"I'll have to check. I'm supposed to be going to the movies with Candy and some of the guys. But I want to catch a wave if there's surf. Don't you want to come down for a wave or something tomorrow?"
"I'll check it out, and if it's OK then I'll hit out."
Every time Wingnut goes home, I wonder when I'm gonna see him again.
I phoned Bruce, then went around to his house. I feel good around Bruce. He was wearing faded old Levis, and a tight ribbed muscle top, which moulded itself to his bod.
"Hey, bud," he said before giving me a deep kiss. :)
He was busy recording some music in his room, so I laid on his bed and grabbed a mag. All I really wanted was to have some company, so it was cool that he was busy. I wasn't really reading the mag, though. I was watching him as he stuffed around with the CDs. His bod has got such good shape. He's much shorter than me but perfectly proportioned. And when he works, the muscles on his forearms do an erotic dance, and look almost like a shark's muscular body. His tight top also showed off his pecs, and the way they flowed down to his flat stomach. Even the [oblique] lines from his hips [to his crotch] were clearly visible.
"You look fucking good."
"Thanks, man," he smiled as he turned to face me.
I felt my cock react to my own comment, and I had to arrange it before it got all tangled. I felt like graunching...
"Fuck, Gary! What now?"
"I once had to ask Cody what graunching meant. I didn't have a damn clue."
"Tongue kissing. You're interrupting my story!"
"Sorry, mate. Continue."
"Where was I?"
"Feeling like graunching."
I felt like graunching so I could play with Bruce's bod, and I told him so. He came over to me and planted his butt on the bed next to me. I sat up, and our wet tongues slid into our waiting mouths. I couldn't manage to get my hand under his tight top, so I pulled it off of him, and he got mine off as well. Then we laid down with our legs entangled, and our cocks fighting for air in our jeans, while our hands were all over each other's bods, and our tongues were doing their own passionate dance inside each other's mouths.
For a while, Bruce laid on top of me, with our bare torsos pressed hard against the other. His skin was warm. What was totally fucking weird was that neither of us reached for our cocks at all. Just being the way we were was so fucking HOT! Don't get me wrong, Gary. I'm not turning celibate or anything. Fucking hell, if he had to put my cock in his mouth right then I would have given him a fucking throat rinse. It was just that particular moment that I was enjoying so much - just holding him, and being held and being close to someone.
Bruce lifted his head, and rested his arms on my chest, giving me a gawk at his biceps. AAAGGGHHH! And then we kissed again. My jeans were soaked in precum by the time he got up to finish what he was busy doing [with the recording].
I went home with a really warm feeling about him. So why don't I just get totally involved with Bruce? He's fucking good looking, with a bod to match, but he doesn't really want a heavy [emotional] involvement. Reckons he gets too fucking emotional when he does that. We don't really connect at school either, because of circumstances [relating to his dealing and my having given it up]. It's just that I'm feeling different about him. With all his shit, he is such a totally cool friend.
It's a stunning day in Cape Town today [Friday]. The temp is up at 34 C. Went down for a slow run to the beach this morning. Didn't take my board with me, though, cos the surf was still a bit sloppy. But it was a total stunner.
Got mail from Spencer and Francois this morning. Francois sent me some really cool pics of surfers and hunky guys, and I could maybe use a couple of them on Cody's site once I get working on it. I've written back to both of them as well. Just a couple of lines. Haven't replied to Brian's email yet.
Time to duck. Or is that duck dive?
Your friend and the Codeman's
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