Florida, USA
Part 9

As we left the property, and headed back to the toll road, I'd been thinking about the cute kid who'd asked for my autograph. "Do you think I look like a hero?"

"Ha!"

"That kid did. Jeez, imagine if I'd been walking around the park without a shirt on. I could've been signing thousands of autographs! Woohoo!"

"You would've been escorted from the park before you got a chance to put pen to paper."

"That's not the point. Maybe I should be in showbiz or something. It's cool when people ask for your autograph."

"What would you do?"

"Carry a lotta pens."

"In showbiz."

"I dunno," I shrugged. "Maybe act or something. Hey, you can do funny voices and stuff. Maybe you could teach me."

"Please stand clear of the doors. Por favor, mantenganse alejados de las puertas."

"That's what the guys on the monorail were saying."

"Do you know Sebastian from Disney's The Little Mermaid?" Then Joshua burst into song with a Jamaican accent. "There she's sitting, sitting there across the way. She don't got a lot to say, but there's something about her. And you don't know why, but you're dying to try, you wanna kiss the girl..."

"I could never do that."

"Kiss the girl?"

"Sing with that accent. I can't even sing."

"Maybe showbiz is not your thing."

"So three autographs is all I'll ever get to sign? That was so damn cool. My moment of glory."

"You don't like gays very much, do you?"

"You mean the queeny ones? Not really. I could never imagine myself being like that. Forgive me for staring, darlings, but you two absolutely divine creatures make such a delicious couple. I just felt compelled to tell you."

"You did that very well," Joshua laughed.

"I did?"

"Yep. Maybe there's a queen inside you trying to get out."

"Not fucking likely."

"Then how do you explain getting a buzz outa air-hair-lair?"

"'Cause it's funny."

"You don't think gays are funny?"

"Funny weird. If I did that kinda thing with my buds at home, they'd think I was fucking loopy. Can you imagine those two old queens wrestling? Oh, Robert! Stop that, you evil monster! You're ruining my hair-do! Don't you talk, Stephen! Look at this scratch! Oh, my God! I'm going to bleed to death!"

My mimicry cracked both of us up, and surprised the hell outa me. I hadn't realized that I could do those kinda voices. Hmmm.

"Are you sure there's not a queen inside you?"

"I was acting. Those guys don't act. They're like that all the time. Did you see those guys in the parking lot gawking at me? They were carrying on like fucking schoolgirls at a rock concert."

"So you didn't enjoy it?"

"Yeah... it was cool. But I don't carry on like that when I gawk at my buds. Ooer! Pauly Poo! How delightful to thee you! You look tho incredibly thcrumptiouth!"

"Remember when you met Kyle for the first time at the airport?"

"OK, so I freaked... but not like the queeny guys do."

"Are you sure? Maybe they're just more open about their feelings than you are."

I didn't say anything for a minute or two as I recollected being with Kyle -- the time he rescued me in the surf; the time he asked me how I wanted to remember him, and lifted my legs over his muscular, tanned shoulders before he slid his rock-hard monster into me.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Kyle."

"What's he really like?"

"Awesome... a fucking hero big time. If he'd been in The Haunted House or the ExtraTERROR thingy, he wouldn't have shrieked."

"Like you did."

"Fuck off, Joshua! I didn't shriek! OK, OK, it was scary, but I didn't fucking shriek."

"But you felt like it."

"What are you trying to say? I'm a guy, Joshua. A guy! When I get into fights, I use my fists, not my fucking fingernails. Anyway, you wanna know something? Kyle thinks I'm a hero, too. So there. :-P"

"Why?"

"I dunno. Probably 'cause of the way I look and act."

"Do you think you're a hero?"

"Not really... but it's cool if Kyle thinks I am... and that kid who asked for my autograph. I'll never forget the look on his face. Woohoo! He was like totally amped when I signed that piece of paper. So, hey, if I look like a hero, then that's cool. I don't have to actually be one."

"So why is Kyle a hero?"

"He surfs."

"Is that all?"

"He's not afraid of anything."

"Maybe he just doesn't show it."

"Same thing."

"You really think so? Do those queeny guys scare you?"

"Scare me? Get real, dude! Fuck no! I could deck any of those guys in a fucking second. They're all wusses."

"That's what homophobes do."

"You mean gay bashers? I'm not a queen basher, if that's what you're thinking. I only bash assholes... like that fag-hater, fuckwit, bully Norman at school."

"Then why do queens frighten you?"

"They don't frighten me, fuck it. They... well... they just make me feel kinda uncomfortable, that's all."

"And why do you think that is?"

"'Cause they don't act like guys are supposed to act."

"Do you?"

"I act like Kyle does... only I'm worse," I laughed. "Actually, it's way cool to shock Kyle 'cause he's pretty much unshockable."

"Is that like some kinda one-upmanship thingy?"

"Yeah... I guess so. I wanna be as cool as he is. And he's totally cool."

"I don't get it. Paul, Greg, Jason, Dick... all your buds think you're cool. So what have you got to prove?"

"To Kyle? You don't understand, man. All my friends are cool, but Kyle is like the main fucking man."

"But he's attached, right?"

"So? Doesn't bother me. It's not like we're joined at the fucking hip or whatever. It's different with him. I look up to him."

"Like a role model?"

"Yeah... like a role model."

"But isn't that also the way he sees you?"

"Sorta. He gets off reading the stories about me," I cracked. "So I guess we're kinda role models for each other. Kinda weird, huh? Is it like that with you and Oth?"

"No, not really. I guess we influence each other to a point, but our relationship is more about being friends and lovers."

"Forever?"

"I'll let you know in fifty years."

"Like those two old queens in the restaurant."

"They were happy... don't you think? They seemed happy to me."

"But they wouldn't have sex together or anything... would they?"

"Ask them, not me. Maybe relationships are more about companionship when you get to be a q-tip."

"What's a q-tip?"

"Those cotton bud thingies you use to clean wax from your ears... white at both ends."

"Well, I can't imagine old dudes having sex."

"Then don't try. Anyway, are you planning on giving it up some day?"

"No way, Jose. Jeez, I can't imagine that either. But what about... I mean... like wrinkles and stuff?"

"Love conquers all, I guess. Anyway, one day you'll be an expert, so you'll be able to answer your own questions."

"Maybe you're right about queeny guys."

"How do you mean?"

"Like if they're happy doing all that weird stuff, then I guess it's cool."

"Like the weird stuff you do is cool?" he grinned, then poked out his tongue.

"Kyle wouldn't let me piss on him either... but I guess you read about that."

"Yeah... and you didn't want him to piss on you either."

"One time I did... well, kinda... but I wasn't sure. He was standing at the edge of the pool while I was in the water just below him, and he looked so fucking awesome with all his muscles bulging, and his big semi just dangling there. So it was kinda tempting. Anyway, I saw his yellow jet explode outa his pisshole, then head straight toward me, so I dove."

"Wuss."

"Kyle would've thought I was a wuss if I'd stayed there."

"So Paul and Dick are wusses?"

"No. At least I don't think so. They're totally cool."

"So why would you have been a wuss if you'd let Kyle piss on you?"

"'Cause Kyle kinda dominates me, and I don't want him to think that I'm... well, I want him to respect me. It's important that we're equal. Y'know? Even if we're not. I mean like with surfing and stuff."

"Do you respect Paul?"

"Yeah."

"But you wouldn't let him piss on you?"

"Right."

"I don't get it."

"Neither do I. So what kinda stuff do you and Oth do?"

"The usual."

"Fucking? Sucking? Rimming? Kissing? Before the rimming, that is. But no piss, right?"

"Right."

"What about rad stuff like jacking all over pizza? Actually, I was gonna ask you at the park if you wanted me to jack over your hotdog. But it was kinda crowded back there... not that all those dudes watching would've bothered me."

"Oth and I are pretty conservative about certain things... including jacking over pizza."

As Joshua nosed the Buick into the apartment complex, we noticed that his apartment's lights were on.

"Does that mean Kevin's home?"

"Probably."

"Do you think he was serious about me measuring his boner?"

"Daniel," Joshua smiled as he selected P, and killed the motor, "nothing surprises me anymore... especially about you."

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