San Francisco
Part 31
Some of the people in the coffee shop were from the Parade audience, and dressed kinda crazy, so I figured being shirtless was cool. It worried Pop, though. He was looking mega self-conscious as we sat down opposite each other at a table.
“What’s the prob?”
“Everyone’s looking at you.”
“Do you blame them?” I laughed.
“No, but they’re also looking at me, and wondering why a… why a shirtless teen like you is sitting with a fossil like me.”
Just then a waitress appeared at our table, holding a pen and notepad. She was maybe 30 or so, with silky red hair down to her shoulders. “Can I take your order, gentlemen?”
“Does Pop look like my sugar daddy?” I asked, loudly enough for the other customers to hear.
“Why… uh… no, of course not!” My question had really spun the chick out, not to mention Pop. He was looking for a crack in the floor to disappear into. And the chick’s face had turned beet red, made all the more obvious ‘cause of her fair skin.
“It’s just that he’s worried that’s what everyone’s thinking ‘cause they’re all giving us weird looks.” Suddenly, all the other customers were no longer staring at us. Instead, they were busy chatting to each other as if we didn’t exist.
“I’m sure they didn’t mean to embarrass you, sir. Can I take your order?”
“An Irish coffee for me,” Pop said, “with a very generous serving of Irish whisky. Triple, in fact.” Then he glared at me, which made me crack.
“I’ll have a cappuccino, please.”
“Daniel,” Pop whispered after the waitress had disappeared, “if you ever embarrass me like that again…”
“I didn’t embarrass you, Pop. I embarrassed everyone else. Check ‘em out. They don’t know which way to fucking look. They’re all feeling guilty.”
My old bud surveyed the room. “I guess you’re right.” Then he began to chuckle. “There’s no doubt about you, young man. You’re the scariest person I’ve ever met.”
“Anyway, I blew it. Now they’re not gawking at me anymore. I’ll have to settle for you.”
The waitress returned to the table with our coffees. She had a smile on her face. “Here you are, gentlemen. Enjoy your coffees. And,” she added with a grin as she looked at me, “if you ever want a sugar mama, give me a call.”
That cracked me up totally. Pop was also in hysterics. And within seconds, the rest of the customers were giggling their tits off. Cool! Ol’ Daniel to the rescue. Woohoo!
“So what’s the difference between Irish whisky and scotch?”
“Irish whisky makes you wanna write poetry.”
“Like?”
“There once was a teen named Daniel…”
“And?”
Pop’s bushies narrowed as took a sip of his coffee, and thought for a moment. “I can’t think of anything that rhymes with Daniel.”
“Spaniel?”
“There once was a teen named Daniel
Who was cockier than a cocker spaniel
A scallywag was he
Who reveled in glee
Whenever he did the fandangiel.”
“What’s a fandangiel?”
“I have no idea. But it rhymes.”
“Jeez, Pop! I thought you said Irish whisky makes you wanna write poetry.”
“I didn’t say it makes you wanna write good poetry.”
“Hey, about this gay marriage thing. All my buds are promiscuous, and I am as well. I’ve already had sex here with Spencer and Willie. Why would anyone wanna be… what’s the word?”
“Monogamous.”
“Yeah.”
“I’m no expert, Daniel. Maybe you should ask someone who’s married.”
“Like my mom and Andy?”
“So you think they would wanna be promiscuous?”
“Guess not. Anyway, if Andy was fooling around with other women I’d be pissed off.”
“Why?”
“’Cause he’s married to my mom.”
“And why do you think your mom and Andy wanted to get married?”
“’Cause they love each other.”
“So there’s your answer.”
“I still don’t understand, Pop. I love Paul, I love Greg, I love all my buds.”
“But not enough to be monogamous?”
“Guess not. Will that happen to me when I’m Jerry’s age?”
“Maybe.”
“Excuse me,” came a voice from behind. It was one of the other customers; a guy in his 30s. “I couldn’t help overhearing your conversation, and I’m wondering if my partner and I could join your table.”
I looked at Pop, who seemed a little confused, but said yes, anyway. A moment later, two guys had joined us, and introduced themselves as Robert and Lee. Then the waitress arrived and took our order. Three cappuccinos and one Irish coffee ‘with triple whisky’.
“I heard you tell Daniel that he should ask someone who’s married if he wants to understand why some people choose to marry,” Robert began, speaking to Pop. “Lee and I are married.”
“You guys are married?” I asked. “Like for real?”
“Yes,” he smiled, “for real. We got married in Canada last month.”
“Congratulations,” Pop said, then took a huge swig of Irish coffee like he needed it big time.
“Can I be honest?” I asked the guys. “You were checking me out. When I see guys looking at me like that, I know what they’re thinking.”
“Oh? So what were we thinking?”
“You know… you were checking out my pecs and stuff, and thinking… well, whatever.”
“What were you thinking Lee?”
“Huh? Oh, I was thinking about what a nice chest he has, and a nice tan, and how cute his face is.”
“Yep, that’s about what I was thinking, too.”
“C’mon, guys, you were thinking more than that.”
“We were?”
“Yeah.”
“Like what?”
“Hey, I wasn’t born yesterday, y’know.”
Just then the new coffees arrived, and kinda interrupted the convo for a moment or two. “I see you’ve made some new friends,” the waitress smiled. “I hope I’m still in the running.”
“The running? Oh! Yeah,” I cracked. “Hey, babes, you’re way in front already.”
After the laughter had subsided, and the waitress had disappeared again, Robert continued his line of questioning. “Just because we’re married doesn’t mean we can’t admire other people.”
“Actually,” Lee interrupted, “Robert and I are gonna have the wildest sex ever when we get home after looking at you.” Then he burst into hysterical laughter, which got us all going.
“You look at me, and that makes you wanna have wild sex with Robert? That doesn’t make sense.”
“It doesn’t? I’m not in love with you, Daniel, but I am in love with Robert. Does that make sense?”
“So I turn you on, but…… nope, I still don’t understand.”
“Being in love with Robert doesn’t mean I’m blind to the attractiveness of someone like you. We both think you’re… well, quite attractive.”
“He means awesome,” Robert laughed. “Admit it, Lee. You practically blew in your pants when you saw him walk into the restaurant.”
“Robert! Puh-leeeease! We’re in the presence of an innocent minor.”
“Innocent? I think not.”
“What I don’t understand,” I continued, “is why I turn you on but you don’t wanna do anything about it.”
“Oh, but we DO wanna do something about it,” Lee insisted. “But with each other, not with you.”
“Speak for yourself, Lee.”
“Robert! Be serious!”
“Daniel,” Robert said, placing his hand on my bare shoulder, “you won’t understand until you fall in love. I mean, really in love. And I hope that happens to you one day because it’s a wonderful, wonderful thing … totally elevating … to want to devote your life to one other person … to be together forever … to share everything together.”
“So it’s not about sex?”
“Oh, yes, Daniel,” Lee added. “It’s about sex, but not only about sex. Robert and I have something that’s much greater than mere sex. Our souls are joined. You see, it’s not just about bodies, it’s about the whole of us; body, mind and spirit. It’s a feeling of belonging. It’s as though, when you fall in love, you finally realize who you are.”
“So that’s it? You guys are totally faithful to each other?”
The guys looked at each other; searching each other’s eyes for a few moments. “We’re not perfect, Daniel,” Robert finally admitted. “Yes, we’ve strayed from the path a few times. One night stands. But they’ve only served to reinforce what we have. You wake in the morning in bed with a total stranger, and you say to yourself, ‘what the fuck am I doing here?’ And you feel guilty. You feel that you’ve not only let your other half down, but also yourself down.”
“Were you like me when you were younger?”
“Lee wasn’t as good looking,” Robert cracked, then received an elbow in the ribs from his lover. “Yes, we were. I think we invented the word ‘promiscous’. But it was like any binge – a food binge, an alcohol binge. We were searching for something. We went from one sex partner to another, not realizing that we were actually looking for love. And when we finally found it, well… here we are.” Both guys beamed big time, showing off their perfect teeth and infectious smiles.
“Now you’re making me feel guilty.”
“Why? Because you’re still promiscuous? Hey, Daniel, don’t let it worry you. You’re young, you’re having fun. You have plenty of time yet to settle down. Besides, you’re doing us all a favor.”
“I am?”
“Sure! You’re running around bare-chested giving us all something totally wicked to gawk at. If you were married, you’d be far more discreet and wouldn’t be treating us to something so awesome to drool over.”
“You like the way I look, huh?”
“Silly question.” Then Robert turned his attention to Pop. “I hope I’m not about to offend you, but… well… you and Daniel.”
“Why are we friends? Is that what you’re asking?”
“We assumed that… well, before, when Daniel embarrassed us all by being so blunt about what we were thinking… he made us change our minds. I’d like to apologize for jumping to an obviously wrong conclusion.”
“Me, too,” Lee added.
“Nevertheless, it’s not often you see friends… a mature person like yourself…”
“He’s not mature, he’s a fossil,” I laughed.
Pop took a sip of his Irish coffee, thought for a moment, then explained the situation. “Daniel and I are friends for one reason, and one reason only. We want to be.”
Both Robert and Lee looked at me as if I was supposed to explain the situation further. “Pop’s right. We get along. We’re not buddies like… like me and my other buds… my teen buds, but we’re buds. Pop teaches me stuff, not like in school, but I learn from him. And he’s fun. He gets all bent outa shape.” That started me giggling. “Man, you should see him when he gets embarrassed. When the waiter came into the hotel room this morning…”
“Daniel!”
“Sorry, Pop, but it was just sooooo funny! Cracked me up totally.”
Robert and Lee turned their attention back to Pop, hoping to be enlightened.
“Daniel is the most outrageous person I’ve ever known. An incorrigible practical joker. It’s a miracle that we haven’t been thrown out of the hotel.”
“Pop worries too much. Everything’s cool. Hey, I’m the excitement in his life. If it weren’t for me he’d be a boring old fart. Right, Pop?”
“And what would you be?”
“Me?” I had to think about that for a few moments. “I guess I’d be a teen without a fossil.”
“That means a lot to you?” Lee asked. “I mean, having an older friend?”
“Yeah. Heaps. I’ve got a bud who can’t roller blade to save his ass, and who turns scarlet at the drop of a fucking hat. He loves me.” And with that something happened. I suddenly drew a deep breath through my nose, and my eyes watered big time, I could feel a kinda burning sensation in my throat as I grabbed a napkin and held it to my eyes. “Sorry.”
The next thing I heard was a trumpet. Or maybe a ship’s horn. Yeah, more like a ship’s horn. It was Pop, blowing his nose. Robert and Lee were also dabbing their eyes and wiping their noses.
“You should never apologize for those kinda feelings,” I heard Robert say. “They’re just too beautiful for words.”
“I’m glad you gave us the chance to know you,” Lee sobbed. “At first, we thought… well, you know… but now we know. Thanks for allowing us to share your table. It’s been a real privilege.”Copyright © 2003 All rights reserved. mrbstories
