Weather’s gone cloudy, but there’s no wind and it’s still pretty warm, which is way damn cool {/ makes sense, huh. 
Cape Town, South Africa
Part 58
Had an awesome time at the beach yesterday. It was like summer hols with everyone down there. Mark came down and joined us and that was a total plus. We stuffed about in the water, wrestling each other, and then we joined some guys playing volleyball. It was total hardon time cos everywhere there were just total fucking teen hunks. A few of Wingnut’s friends from school were there and they also hung with us. Wingnut’s obviously quite a popular dude at school. He was chatting up one of the girls there as well. She musta been about 13 or 14. You can always see when he’s up to something when he pulls his boardies down a little. I noticed yesterday how well developed his calf muscles are for a little dude. He’s actually just one hunka muscle.
Mark raved yesterday, and I got a chance to wrap my arms around him when we were wrestling in the water. I knew there’d be a way. He is totally strong. One time he picked Steve up, and he’s no lighty, and threw him. He said he did judo at primary school and learnt a few things. Yeah, right!
My bod felt like a steamroller had gone over it last night. I went around to Steph’s house for a while to say hi and see how she’s doing. She was pretty stoked. Went to bed around 11.30 after finishing homework.
Gonna be a good day. I can feel it in my boner. We’ve got some guy coming around to talk about sex and drugs and whatever else at school today. Had a few like that before but most of them have been pretty lamo. This dude is supposed to be a real expert, so we’ll see.
[Later]
We have just had the most amazing talk that I’ve ever been to at school. This guy that talked is a professor and a sexologist – married with three kids – two sons. One is in the same grade as me (at a different school), and according to his dad is as hunky as they come. (HANG ON, I’M GETTING THERE). The elder son is in varsity and the daughter is married, and overseas. The professor is a born-again Christian. (SHUDDUP – I’M GETTING THERE!). As soon as I heard the born-again Christian bit I almost kinda copped out and nodded off rather than listen to another loada bullshit about what’s right and wrong according to how he interprets the Bible.
He spoke about sex outside of marriage; the normal stuff according to good Christian standards. And then he spoke about sex amongst teens and what should be required for two people to have sex – the main thing being that they love each other, and it’s not just a sex act to get our cocks wet (YEAH, HE SAID THAT). Hehehe – he said a cock is not a dipstick for measuring the depth of a girl’s sex organ. He also spoke about safe sex.
Then he asked all the guys who had best friends at the school to put up their hands, and obviously most of us did.
“Oh, so we’ve got a school full of homos here.”
Well, I wish you coulda heard the pin drop. The whole fucking hall went quiet. And then he kinda laughed.
He asked how many of the boys hated gays and nobody put their hand up. Then he said he guessed most of the boys hated homosexuals, then he went on about homophilia.
And this knocked my socks off. He said that any guy who hasn’t been in love with a guy or is in love with a guy must be a very strange and unique person. He started to explain what he meant – like best friends who always wanted to be together – friends who hugged each other – friends who slept over at each other’s houses and slept in the same bed – friends who phoned each other cos one missed the other. He said that in most of the cases it was a deep romantic love that friends felt for each other, but there was nothing sexual about it; that it was known as homophilia, which is different from homosexual. He said very often we would see two boys who always “hung out”, and because of what we’ve been told we will assume that they are gay. He said that that was a huge problem amongst teens cos teens saw homophilia as being gay and often ‘come out’ because of that, and then end up in a homosexual relationship cos that’s where they reckon they’re supposed to go after coming out.
He said the other thing was a relationship like he had. When he was in varsity he was madly in love with a male professor and they used to hang out together, yet they weren’t gay or homosexual. They loved each other’s company, and he said they even got down to some hugging and massaging each other. But it never ended up being sexual. All they wanted was to be close to each other. And he had girlfriends during this time as well, one who became his wife.
Basically, what he was saying is that it’s OK to be so damn close to another guy without it leading to sex and without either [guy] being homosexual. He said that God told us to love our neighbor, which means everybody, male or female. And love does not mean sex.
Well, I gotta tellya, you could almost hear a collective sigh of relief from all the guys, which got my brain working overtime about what they musta been thinking about themselves.
[Later]
Mark was pissed that I disappeared during the first recess to sendya that note.
“Where the fuck were you?”
“Up in the comp lab doing some stuff.”
“Fuck, man, I wanted to speak to you about that talk [from the professor].”
“About what?”
“What did you think?”
“I thought he was pretty cool.”
“Yeah, but about what he said … about guys can be in love with guys and not be gay.”
“First time I’ve ever heard anyone say that. It kinda made sense.”
“If you heard that a guy was in love with another guy what would you have thought?”
“That he’s gay, I guess.”
“And now?”
“Fuck, I’m confused. I guess after what he said, then no, if they aren’t having sex. Why?”
“Cos I used to think the same thing; that if a guy loved another guy then he must be gay.”
“So if I tellya that I loveya would you think I’m gay?”
“Hehehe – only if your cock was up my ass at the same time.”
“So this dude’s talk really got to you, huh?”
“You’ve no fucking idea.”
“Why?”
“Just all the things he said.”
“Really hassled you, huh?”
“No … that’s the thing … exactly the opposite. It gave me such a good feeling.”
“So all the guys in school must look out [for you] now, huh.”
“Hehehe – nope, not all.”
“Hmmm. Sounds serious. You been to a doctor?” He just laughed, and then I asked him: “Hey, remember what I said about you being able to tell me anything?”
“Yep. You keep on reminding me.”
“Yeah, well, just remember. So what d’ya mean ‘not all’?”
“It’s OK. My mind’s going crazy.”
He changed the subject and spoke about him and Carol going to Corners tonight. I can’t go. My folks are stopping the clubs for a while cos of end of year [exams].
So what do I think? I think I might be lucky – that Mark thinks of me more than just an ordinary friend but he’s so shit scared about it - scared about getting close.
Hopeya had a good weekend. It’s been windy as hell here but the wrong wind – all on-shore. SHIT !!! So I spent Saturday and Sunday helping my folks get the garden sorted out – weeding and replanting. Wingnut spent the whole weekend over here, so his dad pops his head over the wall and says to please teach his son how to do it, and then he can do their garden as well.[Later]
It was freezing cold this morning during swim prac so the guys would swim and put on their tracksuits, and then undress to swim again. Mark and I were so pissed off cos we hadta put the kit away, and by the time we got to the showers they were ice cold. There was no chance of him or me getting boners. That’s how damn cold the water was.
Mark said he spent almost the whole weekend at Carol’s. Her folks were away and he slept with her on Friday and Saturday nights.
“Aren’t you scared you’re gonna make her pregnant?”
“Nope. She’s on the pill and I used a condom. Steph’s also on the pill, by the way.”
“How doya know?”
“Carol told me. Her folks and Steph’s folks agreed that they’re not taking any chances, and rather the girls go on the pill than get pregnant at school. Their folks are big buddies.”
“Are Carol’s folks never at home?”
“Carol’s dad’s a big-shot [film] director, so he travels all over the damn world, and her mom goes with him quite often.”
“That’s a fuck-up. I’d hate for my folks to be away so much. Sometimes I wish I could have a weekend alone but not every damn weekend.”
“Hey, you can come and stay at my place sometime. My mom and fuckface go away sometimes.”
“What? So I can watch you fuck Carol the whole time?”
“You make it sound so damn crude. It’s more than just fucking. Anyway, I was thinking more that it would be just us. We could listen to music and watch vids or something – after we come back from partying [in town].”
“Sounds cool. Hectic at the moment, though, cos my folks have tied the [hand]cuffs on for end of year exams.”
“One weekend’s not gonna make a helluva diff.”
“Well, let me know when they [your mom and the boyfriend] are gonna be away, then I’ll check [with my folks]. Do you and Carol spend the whole weekend in bed?”
He packed up laughing. “I like your mind, Code. Nope. We go for walks down to the gym together, and maybe for a bite [to eat]. Lots of stuff.”
And this whole convo while we were studying for an English lit[erature] test.
[Later]
I agree withya about the gardening. It’s looking good now that the beds have all been cleaned and new plants [put] in and the grass cut with edges trimmed. To be honest, if Wingnut hadn’t been around it woulda been boring as shit. He makes us laugh a lot with the shit he gets up to and the stuff he comes up with. He and my dad got into the whole convo about rugby and how crappy the [SA] team’s playing. My dad reckons he’s never come across a 12 year old that’s so mature – like to have a sensible convo, seriously. Every now and again when we got hot [under the sun] the two of us would end up in the pool and we’d jack around [goof off] for a few.
It’s almost Halloween again. I can’t believe that it’s a whole year since Steve was covered in silver body paint. I want him to do that again cos it was one of the horniest sights I’ve ever seen. The fucking light reflects off his bod even where there aren’t muscles, and that’s not a lotta places.
Maybe I can get Mark to do the same and we can go as the Silver Surfer Trio.
Anyway, I’m going home now, but the wind is shitty for surfing. So I’m gonna jack off and then do some homework.
Wind is still blowing up to shit here so it’s gonna be cold at the pool. I fucking hate that. It’s not so bad once you’re in the water and swimming, but whenya come out, shit that wind bites!I was laying in bed thinking [about] how different my friends are – like Ross. He’s a total serious dude but when he gets down to it he can be totally loose; like on the hike [up the mountain] and at the strip thing [with the swim team at the farm] and when we go to the clubs. Mark is starting to lighten up, and he’s got me as curious as anything cos he seems to be getting closer to me, whereas before he would be pretty much in a shell and not open up about anything. Steve and me? Well, I guess we’re two guys in love with each other. Wingnut – well, he’s Wingnut and he’s the coolest little dude on the planet. Steph? Well, Steph has made me feel a lot different about myself, and I feel different towards her, too – not like [I feel towards] the guys. She makes me feel good about myself and I think we’re getting close to a time when the two of us are gonna get it on quite seriously. Me? Well, I guess I just try to take it as it comes … still hills and valleys, and still getting into the odd tiff at school and at the beach, but my friends are pretty damn cool – all of them – and there’s this really old dude across the sea. Well, what can I say? He’s pretty teeny for an old dude. :)
[Later]
The wind is gale force here. Some of the guys in science lab measure the wind at around 100 km/h, so ya can imagine how hard it is to keep our Speedos on. :)
Had a coupla the goon squad watching us swimming this morning. What a bunch of fucking dimwits. You can guess who I’m talking about – Alan and his fucking layabout buddies, whistling at us in our Speedos and passing stupid fucking cracks. I thought Mark was gonna lose it this morning – he got so fucking mad. I just told him to cool it cos that’s what they want. At least it gave me a chance to put my hand on his arm. :) I think he’s itching to bounce Alan around a bit, though. The other guys are non-events, and they hang around Alan cos he’s got a bigger mouth and he’s a bully so they feel safe [as a group]. Fuck, they won’t feel safe if Mark’s grabs them.
The wind was fucking crazy, though. You stand on the edge of the pool and you get blown in before you start [the race]. And it’s freezing whenya come outta the water. Not too bad cos you see all the muscles contracting from the cold – hehehe. The only one who doesn’t seem to be bothered by the cold is Jumbo. He’s got this enormous cock that he can’t hide anywhere, and even when he tucks it into his Speedos he can’t hide the huge bulge. I actually don’t know how the fuck he tucks it in cos he’s got balls like a bull.
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