Based on emails from June/July, 2002.
Woohoo! The school holidays had arrived! How cool was that? Quick change of sub. Gary had organized with Hal to give me access to RSC. Good grief, now I could see why Code used to go on and on about Kostik! That dude had one of the most suckable cocks I'd seen. AND HE'S UNCUT!!!!! AND SMOOTH!!!!
So I thanked Gary for organizing the access. At first I wasn't sure if it was legit, though. But Gary explained that he'd gotten permission from Hal. No prob.
Meantime, my dad was making plans to travel to Europe for a week sometime during the hols. And I was hinting like fucking mad about me tagging along. I didn't think he trusted me enough, though. Fuck! If only he'd known how many times I'd been outta the country without his knowing. South America and Europe. It was best that he didn't know about those trips, anyway. For starters, how would I explain where I got the money? Oops!
Went into chat last night and csb was there. I figured his name was Chuck cos I saw someone typing that. They're a pretty cool bunch of guys in there, and they were always making me feel welcome. I was hoping that one of these days I might get to chat with Kot! :)
So now Gary was chatting with Luke's dad, and his dad knew that Gary was gay? I guessed that was pretty cool. I'd warned Gary about rocking up to Luke's house. It would've looked suspicious. But Gary seemed to be using his "honesty upfront" technique to his advantage. That was probably the reason he and Cody became such good friends. No bullshit tude.
The following Monday, July 1, was the Starman's birthday, and Wingnut was getting more and more fucking depressed as the day approached. I'd been thinking of taking him to the movies during the weekend, but I also needed to check what Julie had up her skirt. Uh... sleeve.
"Hey, Winger, you wanna sleep over Sunday night? We can go down to the beach together on Monday morning for the Codeman."
He said he'd think about it. I hated to see him that way - depressed. He would get all miserable and aggro all at the same time.
But on this particular day, there was surf out there, and Wingnut said he would catch up with me later. "I'm going with one of my buds and his mom to the mall for a while. Catchya later on the back line, Steve."
I wrote Gary again the next day, with the subject line: His Last News.
Hi, Gary. Hey, if you cry when you read it, don't hassle cos I did. Found it on three disks in his desk.
Your friend and the Starmans
I was going to email Gary again on the Tuesday or Wednesay, but I thought that he'd like to get something on the Monday to find out how the Dawn Patrol went on the morning of Cody's birthday. Cody must've been a member of Bolt cos he got this email from bolt.com
Here's hoping that you get tons of great gifts, your birthday wish comes true, and your party rocks!
I didn't know how to remove Cody from their email list cos it was a free password membership site.
Wingnut didn't sleep over on Sunday night, but I connected with him early on Monday morning, July 1, down at the beach. It was one of those stunning days that you get in the middle of winter. Not a breath of wind, and a calm sea with just a gentle swell that would soon be lapping beneath our boards. The rays of the rising sun had just begun to peek through the gaps in the mountains. Cody's mountain.
Wingnut was there with five guys from the school swim team, who were about his age or thereabouts. The grommet was like the smallest of them, though. :) All of them had known Cody cos he used to help train them. I was a little disappointed at first cos I thought there'd be this crowd down there. But it wasn't like that. The guys who were in Cody's grade at school were all working now, or at varsity.
All the guys were dressed in their wetsuits, and all were little gods. Only one of them knew me from having seen me out in the surf on previous occasions.
As the sun rose higher above the mountain, it threw these long golden rays across the glassy sea towards the beach. The morning air was fresh and cool. Wingnut was really edgy as he grabbed the rails of his board and led the group out to the back line. We all went out in a V formation, with Winger leading, and me following behind the group. The surf was small, but good. I was in a position to watch the silhouettes of the guys ahead of me has they paddled silently to where the Starman had been so many times before.
Finally, everyone stopped paddling, and I was kinda wondering, "What now?"
One of the guys headed for the peaks to catch a wave, and the others followed. Just me and Wingnut were left sitting on our boards, rising and falling with the swell.
"So, are you gonna catch a wave? For Cody?"
"In a while."
"This is pretty cool, Wingnut.... organizing this Dawn Patrol for him."
"Yeah." The grommet's eyes were shining with tears, while mine had begun to sting a little as well.
"Reckon he's watching us right now... probably surfing a cloud and shouting for us to check him out."
"Think?" he asked before sniffling.
"Hey, this is the Codeman we're talking about, Winger. It's his birthday, bud. I think he'd want you to be happy for him."
Then the flood of tears started, and his shoulders shook as he succumbed to uncontrollable grief. I paddled up beside him and placed a comforting hand on his wettie-clad leg. "Hey, I'm here for you if you need to offload, or if you're in the mood to punch someone. I love you, bud. And the Codeman did as well. More than you probably know."
It took a while for the sobs to subside, but I was patient with him. The poor little dude. Then I led him to the waves, and we surfed for about two hours. Everytime I caught a wave, I'd think about the many times I'd seen Cody styling on his stick. He was a totally cool surfer. And I figured Winger was thinking the same thoughts.
Later, Wingnut and I agreed to meet at Cody's house one night that week. Cody had a book that the two of us used to page through and read. It's called The Prophet. If Cody ever had a religion then it was in that book by Kahlil Gibran. I wanted Wingnut to read the passage about Friendship. I copied it off a web site:
http://www.geocities.com/dino_dot/prophet/ and sent it to Gary:
And a youth said, "Speak to us of Friendship."
Your friend is your needs answered.
He is your field which you sow with love and reap with thanksgiving.
And he is your board and your fireside.
For you come to him with your hunger, and you seek him for peace.
When your friend speaks his mind you fear not the "nay" in your own mind, nor do you withhold the "ay."
And when he is silent your heart ceases not to listen to his heart;
For without words, in friendship, all thoughts, all desires, all expectations are born and shared, with joy that is unacclaimed.
When you part from your friend, you grieve not;
For that which you love most in him may be clearer in his absence, as the mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain.
And let there be no purpose in friendship save the deepening of the spirit.
For love that seeks aught but the disclosure of its own mystery is not love but a net cast forth: and only the unprofitable is caught.
And let your best be for your friend.
If he must know the ebb of your tide, let him know its flood also.
For what is your friend that you should seek him with hours to kill?
Seek him always with hours to live.
For it is his to fill your need, but not your emptiness.
And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures.
For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.
I could hear Cody's voice now. Soft. He'd lay with his head on my chest and hold the book up to his face as he read the words. Some of the passages he knew off by heart, and the one I sent Gary was one of them. I would have my hand on his stomach, feeling his breathing as he spoke. It was another of those special times that we used to share.
Anyway, Wingnut was a lot happier after the surfing session, and we walked home together with our boards tucked under our arms. We were treading the same ground that Winger and Cody had trodden a thousand times before whenever they would head home after a session at the local.
"Cody definitely would love what you did for him. That was pretty special."
"I was hoping his dad would come down."
"Did you tell him?"
"I went to his house early this morning, but Cody's folks are feeling down. Said I'd see them a bit later, maybe."
"Want to come over to my place later?"
So that was the birthday. No flashing lights in the sky, but I knew that the Starman was watching us.
"This is such a totally fucked up sad time, Gary, and it's really hard to deal with it right now. Cody was like a real brother to Winger, and it's hard to imagine what that little dude is going through right now. I wish he would see that I'm there for him if he needs a shoulder. Cya, Gary."
Your friend and the Starmans
Fri, 05 Feb 1999
Subject: runnin now
well thats two things runnin - this damn school net is back up - theyre havin a lotta shit with it. and Steve is runnin. hes started runnin in the mornins before school. his dad bought him these totally cool runnin shoes - asics - theyre as light as a feather. anyway he gave me the sticker that came in the box and it says 'kiss my asics' - hehehe - so i did - on his right cheek.
anyway i know hes a good runner cos ive seen him when we run down to the beach with our boards and the muscles in his legs bulge.
theres no wind today and the weather looks great. ive got swimmin prac now for an hour - i miss a whole period :)
hey i like to tellya about the posin stuff [we do] cos it drives me crazy and i dont think i should be the only one - hehehe. the best is when his back is to me and his biceps bulge and these two strong back muscles go right down to his asics and his broad shoulders and tiny hips and firm asics - hehehe.
tonite im sleepin over at his house - the first time. i dont know his folks that well - they seem to be okay but i think his dad is one of these big company dudes - spends more time with business stuff than hes ever done with steve i bet. his mom seems pretty cool tho.
my folks have got to like steve a lot and he treats them like they were almost his folks - you must see him and my dad mess around.
so my plan for tonite is that he sits on my chest and ill take my fingers and slide his foreskin down and his perfect round head is gonna be shinin with precum and his thick boner is gonna be screamin for tongue - hey doc ignore him hes gone crazy.
ill try and writeya later
gotta get into the pool
cya Gary - my old fossil friend from Oz whos done so much for me - even stopped me from offing myself once - never told you about that did i?
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